joke of the day: upgrading girlfriend 7.0 to wife 1.0

as the title suggests...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticedthat the new program began unexpected child processing that took up alot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installeditself into all other programs and now monitors all other systemactivity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Huntingand Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run , crashing the systemwhenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but theuninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!Thanks,A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)


REPLY:Dear Troubled User:This is a very common problem that men complain about.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that itis just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATINGSYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is alsoimpossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It isimpossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the systemonce installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 becauseWife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manualunder Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing thebackground application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE becauseultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before thesystem will return to normal anyway.Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance .Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use willcause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchaseadditional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary WithShort Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support